....... ماذا قدم لها..........
كنت في جلسة ثقافية نسوية منذ أيام وبعد الانتهاء وخروجي بصحبة احداهن حيث صادف قدرا بيتي على نفس طريقها واثناء العودة تجاذبنا اطراف الحديث وسالتها عن وضعها الاجتماعي واذ بها تبدأ بالحديث عن زوجها المتوفى منذ سنوات وهي في مقتبل العمر ولها طفلتين،شدّني حديثها عن زوجها وحبه لها وتفاصيل غاية الاهمية معه ومدى تأثيرها على روحها وقلبها تتذكرها وترويها لي ولو سمعتها كل إمراة لتمنت ان يكون زوجها على نفس النهج والتعامل معها ، كنت استمع واستمتع وعبارة واحدة يرددها عقلي،،، ماذا قدم لها،،، وكل ماامضته من حياتها معه لم تتجاوز ثمان سنوات، ماذا قدم لها خلال تلك السنوات القليلة من احتواء ومشاعر صادقة وحنان ووفاء وحب لتذكره بهذه المشاعر والرقي والمودة، كان يستقطع جزء من المحاضرة التي يقدمها لطلابه حتى يتكلم عن زوجته، كان يطلب منها ان تحضر للقاعة وتجلس اخر المقاعد كي تسمع محاضراته ويسعد بوجودها وهي ليست طالبة عنده، كان يقول لها بعد وفاة والدها وتاثرها وحزنها العميق قولي لي بابا كي لاتشعري بالفقد، كان وكان وكان،
نعم تلك التفاصيل اليومية النابعة من اعماق القلب والمشاعر النبيلة الصادقة هي البذور التي زرعها ذلك الزوج وكبرت وتجذرت في قلبها ولا تستطيع رياح التحديات والمشكلات ان تقتلعها حتى بعد رحيله،
اهتمو بتفاصيل يومكم مع الشريك، ليس المودة والحب بين الزوجين، بالسيارة الحديثة ولا كثرة الرحلات ولا بعدد الاطعمة الفاخرة الجاهزة التي يطلبها لك، كنت اردد ماذا قدم لها وانا استمع لحديثها عنه وافكر في كل زوج وسعادته في ان تتذكره زوجته وتذكره في حياته وبعد رحيله بهذا الجمال والمشاعر الراقية، وتستمر في حديثها لتقول، رفضتُ ماتقدم لي من عروض للزواج رغم مرور سنوات على رحيله ورغم كثرتهم بل واكثر مما كنت عزباء قبل زواجي،
رفضت رغم احتياجها الى زوج وشريك وسند يعينها على تحديات الحياة وتربية طفلتيها لكنها رفضت
وتقول لو قارنتُ كل رجل معه لم ترجح الكفة لذا كنت ارفض،
احرصو على زرع بذور الحب والاهتمام والاحتواء يوميا واكرر يوميا لتكون لها جذور عميقة لاتستطيع اي من مواقف الحياة الصعبة ان تزيلها، لتكون هي الاساس المتين الذي يجعل لكم ذكرى جميلة في الحياة وبعد الرحيل.
بقلم الحقوقية المستشار نوال الجراح
....... What did he give her? ....... I was in a feminist cultural session a few days ago, and after it ended and I went out with one of them, a fate came across my house on the same path. On the way back, we chatted and I asked her about her social situation. She starts talking about her husband who died years ago when she was young and had two daughters. Her talk about her husband and his love for her and the very important details about him and the extent of their impact on her soul and heart attracted me. She remembers them and narrated them to me, and if every woman heard them, she would wish that her husband would be on the same path and deal with her. I would listen and enjoy the phrase. One that my mind keeps repeating: What did he give her? And all the time she spent her life with him did not exceed eight years. What did he give her during those few years of containment, sincere feelings, tenderness, loyalty, and love? To remind him of these feelings, sophistication, and affection. He used to take part of the lecture he gave his students. In order to talk about his wife, he used to ask her to come to the hall and sit in the last seats so that she could hear his lectures, and he was happy with her presence even though she was not his student. He used to say to her after her father’s death and her shock and deep sadness, “Tell me daddy so that you don’t feel lost.” He was, and he was, and he was. Yes, those daily details that stem from The depths of the heart and the noble, sincere feelings are the seeds that that husband planted, and they grew and took root in her heart, and the winds of challenges and problems cannot uproot them even after his departure. Pay attention to the details of your day with your partner, not the affection and love between the spouses, the modern car, the frequent trips, or the number of ready-made luxury foods he orders. To you, I was repeating what he gave her while I was listening to her talk about him and thinking about every husband and his happiness in having his wife remember him and remember him in his life and after his departure with this beauty and high feelings, and she continues her speech to say, I rejected the offers of marriage that were made to me despite the years that have passed since his departure and despite their abundance and even more. Since I was single before my marriage, she refused, despite her need for a husband, a partner, and support to help her face the challenges of life and raise her two children, but she refused and said that if I compared every man with him, the balance would not be out of the question, so I refused. Make sure to plant the seeds of love, care, and containment daily, and repeat daily, so that they have deep roots that no one can touch. One of the difficult situations in life is to remove it, so that it becomes the solid foundation that makes you a beautiful memory in life and after you leave. Written by legal advisor Nawal Al-Jarrah
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